AHAVAS HASHEM - 5
All the Yidden in the midbar relied on Hashem for all their sustenance. As we've said before, they were totally dependent on their Father in Heaven. Yes, yes, they all knew beyond a doubt that Hashem loved them and would never do anything to hurt them. Yes, when Moshe was told to fight the nations of the world for the benefit of Bnei Yisrael he didn't question. He just did what Hashem asked him to do. War came about as a kiddush Hashem. To be mekadesh Shem Shamayim is the highest madreiga a person could reach as a human being, living and breathing on this world. It is the closest one can get to the kisei hakovod from olam hazeh. Kiddush Hashem is the mitzva that comes from extreme love and utter devotion to Melech Malchei HaMalochim Hakodosh Boruch Hu. What is Kiddush Hashem you may ask? I'll explain. Kiddush Hashem is when you would give up everything of this world in order to sanctify Hashem's name, even if it is embarrassing, even if it is out of character, even if you are the only person doing it and everyone else laughs at you. Yes, Kiddush Hashem is a devotion to Hakadosh Boruch Hu that no one can uproot. It comes from love and giving that humans usually are incapable of. It comes from selflessness and servitude. A true eved Hashem is one who knows who his master is and serves no other. All his being is in service to the Master. Every limb and every organ. All for Hashem. A servant like this has no chains on his body, no chain on his soul -- it's all for Hashem.
When one is serving Hashem like this there are no ulterior motives, no ego involved, no caring about impressing your fellow man. Yes, just doing what is expected without questions and without self-consciousnesss. It's a total giving up of one's physical needs and luxuries. Whatever one takes part of in this world it's so that he could better serve his Master in Heaven. It's not easy to be an oved Hashem. To remain on this madreiga one must be stubborn and steadfast in emunah and bitachon. Davening with all his heart that Hashem should help him maintain this level of servitude without faltering, without falling off the top rung of the ladder to shomayim.
With conviction it's possible to reach these heights but the ego must disappear. There is no place for ego in a Jew coming closer to his Maker. Ego is selfishness, ego is self-centeredness, ego is anger. It distorts true servitude. It destroys true loyalty. Ego is a curse that clings to the person like a leech and won't let go unless the person wrenches it off and throws it away for good. How, you may ask, does one do this? By davening with a broken heart to Hashem that the ego should disappear. By practicing suppressing one's anger in every situation that would normally erupt into anger. By controlling one's ta'avos in everything such as food, dress, relations and household needs. By needing less -- only what is absolutely necessary to continue functioning in this world, and to always know that what is given to you is given by Hashem for that purpose only -- to better serve Him.